A Word On Sensitivity

 

Ok, I’m talking about me. But there are many others out there that experience the very same things.

When I was little my mom had to walk to the grocery store. It was quite a walk. She had all of us in a row behind her like little chicks. She called me pokey. Because I could not pass by things that I saw that amazed me without taking time to examine them. I picked some flowers along the way and gave them to my mom thinking she would love them. She said, “Linda they are just weeds please don’t pick anymore. I became sad because to me those little tiny yellow flowers where beautiful and I was in awe of them. I felt a rush of happiness just to hold one of these flowers in my hand. My mom disregarded my feelings. It made me sad. To her they were weeds, but to me, they were special enough to give her some. I thought that they might make her smile like they did for me. I just could not understand how she could not see the beauty in them.  I did not realize back then that I had this high sensitivity. I didn’t know just what it was that seemed to be different for me than it was for my siblings.  But today I know without a doubt that I am highly sensitive.

I now know that back then when I felt so strongly over those tiny yellow flowers that it is actually a gift. I could see life more intricately than others could. I always wanted them to see the same way and feel the same way but they didn’t. It was frustrating to me.

I now think that this high sensitivity enables me to be creative. I am very observant. I actually can feel the emotions in weather. I can feel the emotions of the sea. I can feel a deeper joy in getting together with my family. I don’t take anything for granted. I appreciate the more subtle joys of life.  My senses seem to be heightened.  I wish sometimes people can know me on a deeper level so that they understand how even the slightest thing can be painful or the slightest thing can be extremely exciting. People like me are attuned to the subtleties of all sorts of things. We have a rich inner life and need to take time to process the constant flow of sensory data coming at us.

I read an article once on HSPs and learned that technology is now providing a window into that which likely defines us all. We have a nervous system set to register whatever stimuli we receive at a very low-frequency and its amplified internally. HSPs emotional experience is at such a constant intensity that it shapes our personality and our lives. If controlled, are extreme sensitivity can enable us to transform all this raw perception into a very keen perceptiveness. Once realized it can be used as a tool or rather gift to make our way through the world and thrive. You must have heard of people like us. We could have a hundred people commend us for something we did but it only takes one person to make a negative comment to destroy all the commendation like it was never said. But that negative comment will stay with us forever.

We make up 20 percent of the population and the evidence implies that we are born that way and not made. The over emotionalism is the most visible feature and it’s not always pretty but understand that we are very honest and generous with our emotions and our thoughts about life. Sadly in my case, because of the constant childhood trauma, I learned to hold all that intensity within my body. I’m not even going to tell you how much that hurts. I am learning through therapy to express and release the emotions that tend to build up fairly quickly. Some caring people in my life really try to help but they don’t know what to do or say without hurting me. “It’s like walking on eggshells sometimes”, so my family has said. I really wish that sometimes I can put what seems like all-powerful emotions and put them into words. I wish that they could see what is really going on inside of me. It’s frustrating for them and its frustrating for me.

It’s that “thin skin statement”, that people usually put out to you. I have been told by people who might be trying to help, “Grow a thicker skin”. But if I did that then I would not authentically be me and I would be denying my gifts.

We need to focus more on what we have to offer. We make compassionate friends who truly care about others. We bring beauty from the world into art and music and we notice things others miss.

If you could see into the world of a HSP you would be in awe of all those vibrant colors, sharp smells, striking sounds, and powerful surges of our emotions.  I can tell that it is beautiful.

 

Hug a HSP today believe me we love it.

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Linda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“United We Stand”

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I was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14..when I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night. Waiting for someone to take advantage of my life again. Over and over I waited for it to stop and finally it did. But some of us aren't as lucky to get out alive. Please today stand up for every soul Mistreated. #timesup
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568,138 likes
  • bellathorneI was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14..when I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night. Waiting for someone to take advantage of my life again. Over and over I waited for it to stop and finally it did. But some of us aren’t as lucky to get out alive. Please today stand up for every soul Mistreated. #timesup
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  • ezi_rahSome people don’t dare to share their story like you did.. Thanks for being honest and for helping those who didn’t dare to talk.. ❤️ stay true
  • maddisonkay@elisaleexh
  • crissfk2Stay strong bella ❤
  • 17.luasYou are strong. I love you ♥
  • mattshaw32❤💔😣😭
  • lmedori_2b@camille_guazelli
  • ankaholubovaStay strong love you ❤💙
  • sachinbora_Stay str💪ng bella💕💕
  • baylee.parrawahhh i’m glad you’re alright and im glad you spoke out against tgis
  • baylee.parrthis*
  • nikitarosebaileyI love you. Thank you. We are so strong and so brave.
  • cait.hale92Thank you for sharing. Love you soo much!
  • naomitp1I respect you so much more after this and I am glad you’re staying strong. Always be hopeful. Sending positivity your way 😊🌸
  • zoeoliviac❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
  • livliv1175#timesup
  • dclary00🖤
  • diiannuswantariiStay strong bella 🔥🔥🔥🔥
  • Stay strong Bella! Thank you for sharing this
  • miriamhopelessStay strong💗
  • nawelberranen@c.blmt02omd lit

Bella Thorne

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Bella Thorne
Bella Thorne March 18, 2014 (cropped).jpg

Thorne in March 2014
Born Annabella Avery Thorne
October 8, 1997 (age 20)
Pembroke Pines, Florida, U.S.
Occupation
  • Actress
  • singer
Years active 2003–present
Musical career
Genres
Instruments Vocals
Labels Hollywood
Website bellathorneofficial.com

Annabella Avery Thorne[2] (born October 8, 1997) is an American actress and singer.[3] She played Ruthy Spivey in the television series My Own Worst Enemy, Tancy Henrickson in the fourth season of Big Love, and CeCe Jones on the Disney Channel series Shake It Up.[4] She also appeared as Hilary/”Larry” in Blended and as Celia in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.[5] In 2015, she played Madison in The DUFF, Amanda in Perfect High and Hazel in Big Sky. Thorne currently stars as Paige on the Freeform series, (Famous in Love).

 

 

It’s my hope that even more, inspiring people come forward to give hope to other survivors and to help them find their courage and find their voice. It can help them heal and encourage them to stand up together with survivors all over the world to make a change in the lives of children everywhere.

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Linda

Life is Beautiful

Even if we are down or even depressed, hurt, angry etc, there is one thing that is sure……life is Beautiful. It takes a lot of effort and gut-wrenching work in therapy. It takes a positive attitude and a promise that after all is worked out, we refuse to allow ourselves to stay stuck in our painful pasts. Seeing life as Beautiful is looking through the tunnel that is called your life for now and seeing that tiny light. The light means that you are about to see how beautiful life can truly be when you are out of the tunnel.

Linda

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Too Awake

 

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I have been spending a lot of time on social media lately with regard to big exposure and trouble for all high officials involved, the government, Hollywood, the music industry and more. It clearly is too depressing to be constantly curious as to the evil going on in our world today and how it all unfolds. In fact, they are horrific things.  Behind the scenes, there are evil things and evil people.

I do think that it is very important to keep up with the news as best we can but becoming overly obsessed can be a serious downfall.

It is so difficult at times for survivors of horrendous crimes to trust in people but we can’t even trust the news as fact. It’s been so-called fake news.  It is going to be hard for those who don’t know about all this yet and it will be even harder to understand and accept just who is behind it all.

Ok, enough of that stuff because it is a huge downer. I want to build up my spirit not crush it to bits. My goal is to encourage and inspire.

I haven’t felt up to it lately because I have been depressed and honestly, some of it is most-assuredly because of what I have been spending my time on. I know its a trap but this interest is driven by my intense curiosity. It is so easy with our amazing technological lives to get lost in it and forget what it is like to be truly human.

I’m taking a much-needed break from all of that. Perhaps, I will watch a comedy. They always say that “laughter is the best medicine”.

Linda

“It’s a small world”

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My husband had to get his hair cut today and he had some errands to run so he asked if I would go with him because he wanted us to go out to dinner later. Then he wouldn’t have to come all the way home to pick me up. So I went. The stylist who does his hair is a very close friend of ours. I have not seen her in a while. I asked how her husband was and I think I asked the wrong question. I won’t go into any detail about what she has been going through for privacy sake.  However, just listening to her talk about the great difficulties she’s having with her very ill and aging husband made me think a lot about how I react to my own difficult issues sometimes. I know that it’s not all about me but sometimes we can get so caught up in our own lives and forget the fact that our family and friends might need some attending to also. She just about had me in tears. I need to become more aware of those around me who suffer too. They might suffer in different ways than I do but no one is keeping score because suffering is suffering plain and simple. We all go through difficult things throughout our lives but we should never be so self-absorbed that we are not there for those in need.  We can take a break from our own difficult issues and listen to a dear one who is struggling.

My heart went out to her. She has so much to do and her husband will not accept any outside help. I think its his pride. No one wants to admit or give in to getting older and needing help but he really fights it. He is a man that is very dear to me. When I heard how he was doing, it went straight to might heart like a bolt of lightning. He has always been like a father figure to me. I always looked to him for guidance much like a child does with a parent.  His wife is quite a bit younger than he is. In fact, I would say twenty years younger. She and I are close in age.

I could just imagine how difficult it must be for her to see the love of her life slowly get worse and worse. Old age is not kind and it’s very humbling. I hope soon that he will let someone else in the house to help her out.

Listening and helping others gets us out of our own heads for a while. In knowing that we suffer in very much the same ways, gives new meaning to the song,

“Its a small world after all.”

Linda

A Dream In Action

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My story will be written!

I always wanted to write. It has always been my lifelong dream to write a book. Never tell anyone that it’s too late to make their dream come true. I wanted to write a book but never saw myself ever having this opportunity. I was always told that I write well. I did not just believe anything that anyone told me. I knew it for myself. Others only validated it more. I am capable and I am intelligent.  I do have what it takes to write a book  I have a lifetime of experience on this subject. I can write from a personal perspective, which is that of a survivor of severe abuse. But do I have the energy the wisdom and the courage to carry it out?

This is not a selfish endeavor. I am not really writing for me so much as I am writing to all survivors of child abuse. I can tell you that it won’t be like most child abuse books.  I want it to be different. I want to inspire others. I want to validate others. I want to help those who live in silence, find there voice. I want to share others experiences and much more. My book has to stir emotion not just in the survivors but perhaps even the perpetrator or the mothers who pretended that they saw nothing.  The survivor always suffers more than the perpetrator. It was true in my case. My father is dead now and I continue to suffer. We don’t have to continue to suffer. There are so many options for us to heal and so many forms of therapy that have been proven through the test of time. I want to write in a very deep creative way that lifts the spirit of those who have suffered.

The good news is that I have started my book. I am very excited about it. I don’t know how long it will take because it’s my very first book but it will get written.

Hugs to all survivors!

Linda

The Noise In A Quiet Space

 

There are many gifts in life but few understand the profound knowledge that can be found in the quiet. However, there is noise, be it ever so calm, within our quiet space. There are our thoughts and inner voice.

Even in the stillness and peace of mind, there is a hum of daily activities and of life happening all around us, but it’s off in the distance away from our conscious mind.  There are all kinds of noises during the day but when we get caught up in the noise of everyday life and responsibilities we lose that moment of peace and quiet. When we find our conscious state of stillness and quiet are we able to stay in the beauty of this quiet.

We can even hear sound while we are sleeping. When we assume that we should be at peace and noise free, outside our dreams, there are noises that our minds can pick up when we are sleeping. It might be noises that some do not consider sound. But it’s there and it can interfere with a good nights sleep.

When I made an effort to be quiet and still in my living room one night, I became aware of the sweetest sound that I have ever heard. It was my children upstairs sleeping. I could hear them breathing.  What a pleasant and enduring sound. If I did not listen to the quiet I would have not heard it.

In life, there is always some level of white noise. When we think or listen to the noise, we can hear it clearly.  If we push this sound farther from our internal dialogue and noisy external dialogue it becomes white noise again.

Can we dissect the white noise of life and pick out the noise that has become an annoying distraction for us. If we turn down the volume of all that noise, can we allow ourselves to sit in silence and listen within? Can we mindfully stay in the present moment to benefit from our own inner wisdom?

Listening is something we do all the time and yet it is a difficult task.  My mind has learned to constantly process and react to what I hear rather than to listen in stillness. While in conversations with others can we not hear our own inner dialogue as well. Perhaps we are thinking of what we want to say in our part of the conversation. Maybe it takes stepping back a little, not in an obvious way, but think and listen to our inner wisdom in the quiet peacefulness of our minds and then give a more appropriate response in our conversation.

It is in this awareness of our surroundings, our selves, and others, that we can be in the stillness of quiet and also hear our conversations and the distant noises and this is a truly profound place to be. We absorb impressions and connect with others to a greater degree when we are free of the distractions of noise. It requires energy to be fully present and actively listen to another person.  My inner voice has begun to listen, too. There are people out there who possess the ability to have complete receptiveness that can be easily noticed.  I have consciously tried to find my way to that state of being,  It is not easy but with practice, it is very possible.

If we all really try and really want to, we can hear the noise and the silence almost simultaneously.

What do you hear in the quiet?

Linda