I had a mammogram today. I haven’t had one since 2008. When I was done they had me sit down until they were sure that it came out alright. I waited and waited and waited for her to come out of the room and tell me it was ok and I that I could go. She came out and took my paper work and walk down the hall. Now you could probably guess what went through my mind. I thought that maybe they found something. Then she came back and called the next woman in.. I’m like what the,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I then asked her before she walked away if everything was ok with mine. She said oh yes,,,,,I’m sorry, She really scared me. Glad that was over. It is really tough sometimes to be a woman.
I have therapy tomorrow morning bright and early. I am worried that she is going to expect me to talk some more about the past. I am really only just beginning to talk about those painful memories. I haven’t even got to the really traumatic stuff yet. I feel at times as though I regress and I am really small when I relate the facts about what happened and not the woman sitting before her therapist. At times I feel embarrassed about it. My therapist told me this can happen when speaking about painful childhood memories. I do feel though as if I am more comfortable to be vulnerable in front of her.