The human voice is beautiful. It’s not just that expressive harmonious sound that echoes forth from our vocal cords but also from the voice that emanates from much deeper inside. It is our inner voice. This special voice connects our thoughts to our hearts. It gives deeper understanding and meaning to our lives. It helps with appropriate decision-making and impels us to move forward toward useful and lasting goals. The beauty of this special voice shines when we allow ourselves to be real and authentic. In this way we are being truthful and honest about who we are to ourselves and others and understanding our place in this world. We all want to be heard. We want to know that our opinion has a voice. Our voice carries with it our purpose. With our goal in mind we become determined to make others listen to us. We speak out on behalf of our heart or our inner voice.
I have endured decades of my life without voice, decades without being heard or having my ideas or feelings valued. Time marches on and although I am a women now I carry the un-lived dreams of an infant, a child and a teenager. All these parts of me have been silenced by fear and shame and exist because of an un-lived life. What happens when our voice is silenced by others? It’s not just being vocal with our physical voice but that voice from within as well. What happens when our very spirit becomes silenced?
There was this unrelenting voice deep within that spoke to me even before all the atrocities of my life were to strike as if in preparation to preserve my soul. It shouted to me in silent utterances, “never give up”.
“Just who am I”, whispered a lost and bewildered little girl? What of this life that frightens me? My earliest guess was that time stretched out in front of me for the sole purpose of others. What has become of my voice? Why was it silenced by those who had no right? There was this saving grace that I experienced though hope for even though a tender mind I thought, “there is always tomorrow”. I’ll just hang on until tomorrow. Perhaps things will change.
Its my hope that this blog will help others whom have gone through the same trauma to gain support and understanding and perhaps maybe even to inspire them to speak out about what happened to them thereby validating themselves as well as bringing awareness to the horrendous crime of child abuse.