Change again?

Change again


I am just starting out with this new therapist. I had my first visit today. I was really nervous and she could tell.

Oh well so much for first impressions. I like the house that her business is at. Its a very old, old house. I believe she said

1843. That’s pretty old.  actually its a pretty house. Its yellow with blue shutters. Her office is in the attic of the house.

She claims friendly spirits are out and  about. Its kind a cool. I feel comfortable there. She told me that we are going to go really

slow..  I am ok with that!  Its nestled in a beautiful and historic town in Litchfield.  They are mostly wealthy family’s that live there.

Its where my girls grew up.. I live in a little suburb of Litchfield called Northfield. That’s it for the geography lesson.

No really I think I’m  going to like it there. I feel safe. If I feel safe that’s half the battle. I am settling down with my cat named Max.

He hogs the couch. He says that he doesn’t but he does. Shhhhhh………….he’s snoring. I love my Max. He’s an awesome cat with lots of personality.

More tomorrow……………………………………………………………………………………………….


Words Words Words

There is a gift in words.
They define our lives.
Saved on paper,
for all of time.
Expressions of love
Expressions of hate
written down,
before its to late.
The memory fades,
and then we lose,
what we dare never trade.
words, words, words,
Endearment engaged
on wood.
We cherish even those,
things we thought,
we never would.
Remembrance in a letter,
Poetry words even better.
Lasting moments,
captured in time.
There truly is a gift in words,
for they define our lives.

Linda Booth

Goodbyes are hard

I had my last appointment with my therapist. I am going to have a EMDR therapist. and I will start that at the end of the month. Wow this year has gone by  fast. I am sad to leave Elizabeth. She was awesome. I will miss her so much but I am excited to start the new therapy. I want more than ever to move past the trauma that I suffered for so very long.

I am hopeful


thumbnail imageIt was recommended  by my Insurance Company as well as the Hospital to give this a try.I have done extensive research to make sure that I completely understand how it works and if its right for me. I am happy to say that I am going to give this a try. I want freedom from my past. This form of therapy sounds promising and has been thoroughly  research and tested. I have found a EMDR therapist close to where I live. It means saying goodbye to my other therapist and that will make me sad as she is an awesome therapist. I will miss her greatly!  though this information might be helpful for some of my readers.


EMDR therapy stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and is a type of psychotherapy. How EMDR works is part mystery, but the goal is to eliminate disturbing feelings associated with traumatic thoughts and memories. The memories are not forgotten, but after treatment, they no longer trigger an upsetting emotional response when brought to mind.

EMDR therapy was created by Dr. Francine Shapiro. In 1987, she observed that eye movement can lower the intensity of upsetting thoughts. The eye movement in EMDR has been compared to what happens when we dream, or experience REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.

An EMDR Therapy Session

  • A client brings to mind the problem thought or memory: what they felt, saw, heard, and were thinking when first experiencing it.
  • While the client is focusing on the upsetting event, the therapist directs the client’s eyes to rapidly move from side to side.
  • The client’s job is to notice whatever comes to mind during this process. Clients may feel strong emotions that usually diminish during the fifty to ninety-minute treatment.
  • Sets of eye movements are repeated until the memory is less upsetting and has been connected to positive statements about the client (i.e., “I was only a child; I managed as best I could”).

Eye movements allow the brain to revamp memories by “melting” them for reprocessing. It is a bit like making changes on a digital photo, only the client must let the changes happen without directing them.

Problems EMDR Therapy Can Treat

  • panic attacks, performance anxiety
  • post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and phobias
  • addictions
  • dissociative disorders
  • complex grief / anxiety issues
  • trauma from physical or sexual abuse / PTSD

Studies have shown EMDR therapy to be effective and the results to be long lasting. It usually requires three to ten sessions to complete the process. Some EMDR therapists use tapping or audio sounds instead of eye movements, with good outcomes. EMDR therapy is sometimes used in tandem with “talking” psychotherapy. Make sure your therapist is EMDR certified


It is indeed a strange day today. My mood is all over the place with ideas. I think I should  paint, should I write or should I go for a walk?  I am having a hard time choosing. They are all healthy things to do. I need to broaden my structure for each day. Its getting a little mondane. I hate when I get in a slump and my mood pluments downward

It is at these very times that I need to use and put into practice the many tools that I have learned through DBT and other therapy experiances over the years. Lets see may be I should make a list.

  1. Self-Soothe………this skill is good when my mood shifts and spirals downward. Sometimes just doing something for my self that makes me happy. It might not because of the mood I’m in but its………fake till you make it. It really can work.
  2. Mindfulness…………I can pay attention to what I am doing in the here and now so that the past and the future do not over take my mood. For instance if I am taking a bubble bath I can pay attention to the fragrance and the feel of the bubbles in my hand as they are popping. I can look at them closely and notice the tiny little rainbows that they give off. If I use all of my senses for this very moment there is no time for worry.
  3. Doing things for others in need always lifts my mood.
  4. Prayer can be a comfort in a time of need. It always calms me down and I become more at peace with myself.
  5. Walking while listening to my favorite music helps as well.  There are so many skills that can be used. They can be as differant  as all people are different. Its about what ever works. You can make your own list and put it on the frig or somewhere else to remind you in time of need. Tell me your ideas..make a comment.