Well its Friday and that means grocery shopping. I used to love it. Now it feels like a chore that I just want to get over with. I look back on the days when the girls were little and even though shopping with them was very challenging, especially four little girls! Honestly I miss those days when I had all the energy in the world to take on such a task. It wasn’t too bad except for the times when the really little ones would put groeries in that I did not realize and ended up paying for it and realizing later. When I finally made it home I had the two older girls help me unload the car and then I sent them all outside to play. Yah some moms choose to sit their kids in front of the TV. I wanted them to share the joy of the wide open fresh air and to ride bikes, make mud pies, play outside games that require them to be physical. Sitting in front of the TV takes no real effort at all. I felt that if I used the TV as a babysitter than what kind of mother would I be?
Well anyway back then I did not have fibromyalgia or depression as the result of Bipolar Two. At least back then when the girls were little it was much milder. I am on medication to help with the pain but I really don’t want to be on it very long. I take Tramadol and Flexeril a muscle relaxer. I am not on any hard pain medicine. I don’t want to get addicted to that. I would rather deal with the pain. Not to mention the fact that it would impair my judgment while driving. I have to be able to get where I need to go safely. I love to drive. Its my freedom from the mundane and claustrophobic feel of my home at times.
Well I am going to enjoy the rest of my day relaxing. Its my reward after shopping.