Tough Morning

I just got back from therapy. I feel very overwhelmed and sad. Through the process of EMDR I got in touch with some of the anger that I had toward my father but could never express. I had the chance today to express that and I could not. How, after all this time, am I still afraid of my father. He’s dead so he would never know if I express anger toward all the horrible things that he did. I suppose it’s just buried deep inside and it going to talk a little time to release it. I am determined……. I will do it. I also got in touch with a tremendous amount of sadness. I talked about feeling completely alone. I felt invisible as a child. I really believed at times that people really did not see me. I also felt as if I was only born to be used by sick twisted people who like to hurt children in the worst ways.

Although today was rough in therapy and I don’t feel so well right, I know that soon I will be free of all this misery. I am determined to get through it all no matter how hard it will be and no matter how bad it makes me feel. The light will get brighter. I am sure of it. I will succeed.



One thought on “Tough Morning

  1. Are there rules for what to feel, like anger? Anger is just a shield covering pain and it sounds like you went right to the pain/sadness. I don’t think you have to be or feel anger. It is the pain underneath that needs to come up. (just a thought) And it is so very sad. I hope you feel lighter once this works through.


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