Today was Grandparents Day at Trace, my grandsons school. He is in first grade. We had a great time. We saw a slide show of all the kids in the class. It was so sweet. I took videos of him and pictures and then he confiscated my phone to play with it. He took video of me! I told him that Nana does not want her picture taken but oh well. It made him happy and it was proof that I was there. We built a scarecrow together. Trace is very sweet but very out going. He’s like his Dad. I wouldn’t be a bit surprise if he becomes the class clown. He got that from his Dad too. He got his sweetness from my Daughter Amy, his mommy. It was also book fair week and of course we had to go to the book fair. He picked out a book about the minions and a lego book. He was thrilled and couldn’t wait to go home and show his mom and dad. We both had a really good time. Maybe next year his Papa can come too.
I have admit it kinda makes me feel old and I’m not. I am only 56. I don’t look typical for a grandparent but as the years go by I think that I will fit right in.
I had so much to do today. I had gotten a bit over-whelmed with getting everything done. Its my anxiety. I have generalized anxiety disorder. It just might go away after EMDR is done. That would be amazing. I would love to live my life the way that I am supposed to. I want to feel more joy and excitement in my life. I also want to feel safe out there. I don’t right now and it takes so much energy for me when I do have to go out. But I get through it and feel proud of myself after. As I progress through therapy I am sure that I will succeed in the things that I want for my life and the things that I must do. Things that are important to my spiritual growth. I’ll make it.