Crazy Day

th5PHU5RD4.jpg     Today was Grandparents Day at Trace, my grandsons school. He is in first grade. We had a great time. We saw a slide show  of all the kids in the class. It was so sweet. I took videos of him and pictures and then he confiscated my phone to play with it. He took video of me! I told him that Nana does not want her picture taken but oh well. It made him happy and it was proof that I was there. We built a scarecrow together. Trace is very sweet but very out going. He’s like his Dad. I wouldn’t be a bit surprise if he becomes the class clown. He got that from his Dad too. He got his sweetness from my Daughter Amy, his mommy. It was also book fair week and of course we had to go to the book fair. He picked out a book about the minions and a lego book. He was thrilled and couldn’t  wait to go home and show his mom and dad.  We both had a really good time. Maybe next year his Papa can come too.

I have admit it kinda makes me feel old and I’m not. I am only 56. I don’t look typical for a grandparent but as the years go by I think that I will fit right in.

I had so much to do today. I had gotten a bit over-whelmed  with getting everything done. Its my anxiety. I have generalized anxiety disorder. It just might go away after EMDR is done. That would be amazing. I would love to live my life the way that I am supposed to. I want to feel more joy and excitement in my life. I also want to feel safe out there. I don’t right now and it takes so much energy for me when I do have to go out. But I get through it and feel proud of myself after.  As I progress through therapy I am sure that I will succeed in the things that I want for my life and the things that I must do. Things that are important to my spiritual growth. I’ll make it.









2 thoughts on “Crazy Day

  1. I’m sorry it is so hard ‘being out there,’ yet I also know how hard it is. And you are making it. That you put yourself ‘out there’ to be with your grandson and did alright was accomplishing so much. It’s OK to choose one’s environment where safety is found… wherever it is and with whoever you let in.


    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Your very sweet. Yes I was proud of myself for going to my grandsons school. I just wish it wasn’t so hard on me. I am always totally exhausted after. I hope that my therapist is right that I will over come my anxiety soon. Sounds like you know exactly how it feels.
      Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

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