Tuesday was a tough day in therapy for me but it was ok I gained some insights in to how other people deal with similar issues but in a much different way. There can be many roads that lead to the same place. The therapists just seem to know exactly how to pull you out into the conversation. For me sometimes that’s a good thing and other times, especially when I might seem upset, it’s not so good or so it seems until that time when you finally get talking. Yes its scary for me to open up but that is what I am there for this time. I mean it’s really true when people say you get out of it just what you put into it. So to make a long story short. I’ll get right to the point. Speaking for myself, Tuesday seemed like just practice because while it seemed difficult to express myself, I really hit on the target issues and those pesky little nerves that get activated.
Today was much more difficult for me because I have been running from my life for so long that I perfected it to protect myself. But for all those times it seemed like I was always running from this huge monster of my past only because I was too afraid to feel anything. I was just too shut down for so long. Even being shut down is a way of running from what I need to just sit and deal with. The monsters that chase us whatever they may be are not so dangerous and scary when we know that we have people in our life who really truly care. But it takes more than that on our part because we need to have trust in those people who want to truly help us . We need to learn to let people help us. We all need to help each other because when we do that we gain more power over those scary monsters. Together we can stand strong over the atrocities that inflicted our life. I bet there is joy beyond all that.
But for now I am in some dire need of comforting sleepy time. I need to recharge myself because of not sleeping the night before and just having so much on my mind all at once and that in of itself can be exhausting.