I woke up very early this morning. It was about three o’clock. Of course my husband started to stir because he gets up very early for work. He gets started at four. I think he somehow thought cuddling was to lead to sex. It is always hard for me to turn him down. I hate doing that to him. Its been an issue with us for quite some time. Its the PTSD of course that interferes with my ability to get through it. That is supposed to be something beautiful for two people who love each other but to me it can at times be torture. I am working hard on being more there for him. Maybe once that I am done with the trauma work things will be very different. Poor guy….he is so patient. I think it is because he really understands.
Well today is Friday and my last IOP for this week. Wednesday I was given permission to go home early. I was to upset and did not want to cause a distraction in the last group. I got home and took a nap. That is always good for me because it gives me some distance from the event that upset me and feeling better. It works almost every time. Well I will write more later.