Trying hard to find myself

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Therapy has been a long and exhausting road. My future has always paid a price as a result of stumbling through survival and finding a way to really live. Blame for the trauma that I experienced is no longer important  to me. I have to say that this is a sign of my great emotional progress and growth. By not playing the blame-game I’ve forgiven those from the past that have harmed me and I am on the verge of freeing  myself from this heavy burden that I have been caring for far to long. I could blame myself for taking so long to work through all of my painful experiences or I can pat myself on the back with confidence because I kept fighting to move on. I’ve learned that it’s not how many times that I stumbled that’s important to remember. It’s really that when I fall I always find a way to pick myself back up and continue on my journey. It’s not just the journey of survival,  although there where many years that it felt like that,  but it’s what I continue to do to improve my life despite it all.  I think that with just a little more strength to climb this difficult mountain I will be able to see what’s beyond it for me. I really want to know what my life will be like once I free myself from all of this. I know its coming soon…very soon,  I can feel positive change. Often when people do serious harm to us, we lose sight of who we are separate from everyone else.  I am trying very hard to find myself and discover what life can truly be like for me. I am almost there. All my hard work has not been in vain.

89km

Linda


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