Feeling Down



I really hate that what I choose or have to do is subject to my mood shifts. My body has gone through a lot lately with the bad infection in my tooth and then the affects of the antibiotic. They have to destroy bad bacteria but they also can kill the good ones leaving me with a war inside my digestive system. I used the pain meds for a while and then your body has to adjust to not having them. I think it effects the serotonin. I know the tramadol does. Anxiety played a role in all this as I dreaded my colonoscopy. They put gas in you so that it is easier for them to see around.  Well eventually that gas has to come back out. It decided to take its time and cause cramping.

All that said, I am still in a low mood. I hate that I really don’t know why. If I knew than maybe I can change whatever it is that is affecting me.

I might feel bad going to therapy tomorrow because I have been down so much lately. I know she won’t judge me for it. But I think in my own head that I should not be so depressed at this point. I honestly do not know if it is a medication problem or if it has something to do with what my body has been put through the last few months or perhaps I need to work on things that have come up and triggered me. I always have so many questions. I know that with somethings there is no answer and I have to learn to be ok with that.

At least I am using some of the skills that I have been taught over the years. Some work well and some not-so-much.

I am sure it will all pass in time and I will feel better soon. I have a lot of exciting things coming up in my life and I want to enjoy them.




2 thoughts on “Feeling Down

  1. I hope you feel better soon. Your body and psyche may just need down and rest. I am still surprised how long it takes me to re-cover from a medical visit, even as simple as an eye exam. A colonoscopy plus your infection is so much more.
    The PTSD that occurs because medical things scare me so much, takes a great toll on all systems. I wish it wasn’t so but it is. I forget too easily and beat myself up over it. Not helpful. Be gentle, rest… (The very same things I tell myself and remind myself to do that don’t come naturally like they do for others who grew up whole, safe and nurtured.)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.