Now that things have calmed down I can now think straight without all those racing thoughts. This happens when there is too much going on in my life whether it be concerns for my family or too cluttered a calendar of events. I think the latter is the worst. I am used to getting an invite and writing it on the calendar, then I become so overwhelmed at the very thought of leaving the house to go there and the imminent anxiety that I will experience while I’m there, so then I end up talking myself out of it. This has been going on for years. Just what am I so afraid of? That’s the million dollar question. If I found the answer I would rather enjoy the solution than a million dollars. I feel that being comfortable with myself and really enjoying my life without fears is priceless.
I found through experience, that if a person dwells too much on what is wrong in their life than this person is missing out on the potential and excitement of the rest of their life as it unfolds. I don’t want thinking negative all the time to steal my life. I am working really hard in therapy so that it does not happen.
I will be tested this weekend because a family event is coming up on Saturday. So the question to me and others that know me and behavior, will I actually go.
On a happier note my living room and kitchen (open concept) are going to have a face lift. The walls are a very light almost robins egg blue. We are getting a new living room set, flooring and big screen TV. This will make a huge difference in how I feel spending time there. I seem to spend too much time there as I mentioned above. My life needs a face-lift too. I need to step out of my comfort zone to go to invites and also to entertain guest at my house. I have not done that in a very long time.