A Word On Sensitivity

 

Ok, I’m talking about me. But there are many others out there that experience the very same things.

When I was little my mom had to walk to the grocery store. It was quite a walk. She had all of us in a row behind her like little chicks. She called me pokey. Because I could not pass by things that I saw that amazed me without taking time to examine them. I picked some flowers along the way and gave them to my mom thinking she would love them. She said, “Linda they are just weeds please don’t pick anymore. I became sad because to me those little tiny yellow flowers where beautiful and I was in awe of them. I felt a rush of happiness just to hold one of these flowers in my hand. My mom disregarded my feelings. It made me sad. To her they were weeds, but to me, they were special enough to give her some. I thought that they might make her smile like they did for me. I just could not understand how she could not see the beauty in them.  I did not realize back then that I had this high sensitivity. I didn’t know just what it was that seemed to be different for me than it was for my siblings.  But today I know without a doubt that I am highly sensitive.

I now know that back then when I felt so strongly over those tiny yellow flowers that it is actually a gift. I could see life more intricately than others could. I always wanted them to see the same way and feel the same way but they didn’t. It was frustrating to me.

I now think that this high sensitivity enables me to be creative. I am very observant. I actually can feel the emotions in weather. I can feel the emotions of the sea. I can feel a deeper joy in getting together with my family. I don’t take anything for granted. I appreciate the more subtle joys of life.  My senses seem to be heightened.  I wish sometimes people can know me on a deeper level so that they understand how even the slightest thing can be painful or the slightest thing can be extremely exciting. People like me are attuned to the subtleties of all sorts of things. We have a rich inner life and need to take time to process the constant flow of sensory data coming at us.

I read an article once on HSPs and learned that technology is now providing a window into that which likely defines us all. We have a nervous system set to register whatever stimuli we receive at a very low-frequency and its amplified internally. HSPs emotional experience is at such a constant intensity that it shapes our personality and our lives. If controlled, are extreme sensitivity can enable us to transform all this raw perception into a very keen perceptiveness. Once realized it can be used as a tool or rather gift to make our way through the world and thrive. You must have heard of people like us. We could have a hundred people commend us for something we did but it only takes one person to make a negative comment to destroy all the commendation like it was never said. But that negative comment will stay with us forever.

We make up 20 percent of the population and the evidence implies that we are born that way and not made. The over emotionalism is the most visible feature and it’s not always pretty but understand that we are very honest and generous with our emotions and our thoughts about life. Sadly in my case, because of the constant childhood trauma, I learned to hold all that intensity within my body. I’m not even going to tell you how much that hurts. I am learning through therapy to express and release the emotions that tend to build up fairly quickly. Some caring people in my life really try to help but they don’t know what to do or say without hurting me. “It’s like walking on eggshells sometimes”, so my family has said. I really wish that sometimes I can put what seems like all-powerful emotions and put them into words. I wish that they could see what is really going on inside of me. It’s frustrating for them and its frustrating for me.

It’s that “thin skin statement”, that people usually put out to you. I have been told by people who might be trying to help, “Grow a thicker skin”. But if I did that then I would not authentically be me and I would be denying my gifts.

We need to focus more on what we have to offer. We make compassionate friends who truly care about others. We bring beauty from the world into art and music and we notice things others miss.

If you could see into the world of a HSP you would be in awe of all those vibrant colors, sharp smells, striking sounds, and powerful surges of our emotions.  I can tell that it is beautiful.

 

Hug a HSP today believe me we love it.

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Linda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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