All victims of childhood abuse know shame! Some live there whole life plagued by it but not knowing why. Many victims blame themselves for the abuse and shame comes along with that idea. It’s just an idea or misconception. No child is to blame for the abuse inflicted upon them. Shame is felt when children are victimized by all kinds of abuse. This shame can be paralyzing, effecting every aspect of their life. Every form of abuse is humiliation to a precious child. Many feel bad because they did not stop it. Maybe they somehow feel responsible for the continued abuse because they did not tell anyone. In the case of sexual abuse, it doesn’t matter how many times they hear, “it’s not your fault” they still continue to blame themselves. I do also.
My experience with sexual abuse has caused me so much shame. Its shame that has gotten to the very core of a me and it has with out a doubt effected my whole life. It’s true that no matter how many times professionals tell me that it was not my fault, there is still apart of me that holds that negative emotion. Its one of the worse emotions that a person can feel. It is truly sad that we carry shame that is not ours. It belongs on the perpetrator!
As a child grows into adulthood they continue to carry the idea that it is all their fault. Although they are old enough to understand that it was not their fault the damage, especially if it continued for period of time is so embedded into their sense of self. It takes a lot of work in therapy to get rid of the shame and self-blame. I am working hard in therapy to rid myself of the shame and trauma of sexual abuse. It takes time heal. It takes patients and it takes courage but it can happen.
Speak up for those who can’t! Become aware of the signs. If you notice someone or even think that someone is abusing a child, please speak up. You might be wrong but isn’t it better to be wrong than have a child continue to suffer?
I write this based on statistics and my own personal experience.
The more we talk and write about this the more the world becomes aware of child abuse.